eighthphase | Entries tagged with essay writing

Finished the Macbeth essay; finished the college essay, as well. I ended up writing the UC prompts, both of them; I'm about 100 words over the "limit" but I think that's okay; if it's not, well, it's just a first draft, anyway. I actually wrote more for those than I did for the Macbeth prompt, but then, they really are two essays, so I guess that's... fine?

I know that I wouldn't have written those two essays if it weren't an assignment for my English class (well, I only had to write one, but I felt if I was doing one then I should do both of them, and really, 1000 words is nothing anyway), but somehow I don't mind. Thinking about what I was going to write helped me focus on what I really want, for myself and in life. I'm not a social person and I don't like interacting with people, but I do like to write. If something I write helps someone, anyone, in any way at all, then I'll feel like I've done something worthwhile. If something I write helps a lot of people, somewhere, in any way at all, then I'll feel like my life has had meaning. I don't babysit and I don't tutor and I don't volunteer, because the world scares me and because people scare me, but I write. Even if it's all I can do, at least I can do something.

I don't like introspection, either, but somehow I find that I've been doing more of it in the past two weeks than I have in a long while. I guess I'm fine with that, as long as it doesn't keep up.

(At least it's not another post about Inoue Chronicle!)

Current Mood: productive

Today when I went to pick up my research paper, so that I could actually, you know, revise it, I learned that it has apparently vanished off the face of the earth. The combined powers of SantiWall have absolutely no idea what happened to it; Santillan told me to email it to her and she would read over it tonight. Which... okay, I actually saw this coming, because on Monday when I asked about it (after Waller told me she didn't have my paper, so ask Santillan) Santillan wasn't actually sure where it was. I rather think that the God of Research Papers mistook it for an offering, much like the God of Art did to my ruler (and most of my erasers, and every pencil sharpener I've ever owned, among other things).

Santillan also said that she wasn't entirely certain that my paper would need that much revising, because I'm a strong writer. I already know that, but it's nice to be told every now and then, especially since I've never really talked over any of my writing with Santillan. Regardless, I'm looking forward to her suggestions. I was actually kind of looking forward to a paper copy with red pen marks everywhere, but I'll take what I can get, I guess. (I don't like seeing red marks on my maths tests; I love seeing them on my essay drafts. Mostly because red marks mean that I can improve, which I am all about when it comes to writing.)

I have fifty-three questions left to answer about The Great Gatsby, and I think I might end up typing out what I already have and then just typing the rest, because I really don't feel like writing it all out by hand. /: (I've also had the questions for a week, so of course I wait until the day before they're due to do them.) I don't think I'm going to finish reading it, but I liked what I did read. I also think I'm one of the few people who didn't get a book in which some previous asshole owner had written ending spoilers on the inside cover... not that it matters, because the first thing I did after reading the first section was spoil the ending for myself, lol.

Some lazy fun stuff, and then English homework, I think. When I get back from GS tonight, maybe Santillan will have finished with my essay.

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: 21 Guns :: American Idiot Cast

And I'm finally finished~! \^o^/ Fifteen pages and an even 4800 words. I feel accomplished. (No thanks to the Fragrance of Dark Coffee, Rez Game Sound Data, or Gyakuten Meets Orchestra... ¬_¬; )

I'm now going to install Portal. I hope my darling laptop can manage.

edit: And then I remembered the French presentation that was due today. The one that I totally forgot about. >_<

Current Mood: relieved

And another nervous breakdown, worse than yesterday's (or should I say Sunday's? It is technically Tuesday, now) and about the same topic. Mum's granted me another day, even though we both know that she shouldn't have; then again, when you've watched your daughter working relentlessly for five hours and then she comes into your room after midnight freaking out because she's not sure she can fill another two and a half pages and manage to not sleep through half of tomorrow, I guess you're a bit more lenient.

I did almost get through page twelve. I just... I've already written almost everything I can think of about transgender discrimination and I still need more. I'd write more about the Gwen Araujo case if I could find more information about it, but the only source that's really popping up is Wikipedia, and Waller would kill me if I cited that (I mean, even the article says it needs more citations, so how can I know that it's truly reliable?). I'm kind of kicking myself in the shin for not paying more attention when her murder was in the media (even though it's been almost eight years, and I was nine), because maybe if I remembered more about it I could write more.

I'm not going to waste tomorrow morning; I don't want to go through this again. I'm going to finish my paper, and then have fun, whether that comes in the form of reading more or playing Portal.

Which reminds me, Portal is free through Steam until the 24th, I guess Valve is being generous because they announced Portal 2 earlier this month. Steam is also free, so that's pretty cool.

Earlier (around nine or so, I think) I had an idea for a post about slash fiction v het fiction v yaoi fiction and why I'm more compelled to read what I do, but I was saving it for tomorrow so I could concentrate on my paper. Then while I was researching Don't Ask Don't Tell, I actually started crying reading some of the letters soldiers affected by it are sending President Obama, asking for his help in repealing the law, because their stories were so moving. (I'm still teary and shaky now, but it's mostly the stress this time. And a little bit reading about Gwen, I have to admit.)

Even though my personal philosophy on this and a lot of things basically amounts to, "Your right to express yourself ends at the tip of someone else's nose," which would imply a good deal of apathy about... a lot of things, I really do believe what I'm writing in my essay. I really do believe that discrimination, for whatever reason, is wrong; that same-sex couples deserve the right to marry, with all the legal implications that implies; and that many of the atrocities committed in the name of intolerance should never have happened, and should never happen again. I can't say that I'm not affected by the viewpoints of my parents, and that I don't buy into stereotypes just a little, and that I don't display intolerance myself, sometimes; but I am open-minded about the world, and I'm not afraid to apologize when I'm wrong or offensive, and I do try to be a decent human being. I just wish the rest of the world - hell, even just the rest of the country - could say the same thing.

And now this has turned into a Blog Post like I was trying to avoid. I don't even know how much of this is coherent... I should just go to bed.

Current Mood: stressed

I think the hardest part of writing this paper is the lack of support. I can't ask my group for help, because I've already tried and all I got was "I think I BSed most of it. And repeated myself a lot, too." which is supremely unhelpful. And I can't ask my friends for help, because they're all writing about completely different topics. (Actually, I guess I should say wrote, since the full paper was due today. Have I mentioned I'm still on page two?) And I can't ask mum for help, because she's on the complete opposite side of my argument, so asking her for help would be counterintuitive. (Yes, Firefox, I spelled counterintuitive properly.)

Actually, it's not so much the lack of support as the lack of ideas. Except that normally, if I needed help with that, I would ask someone. Except I can't actually ask anybody.

...of course, if I don't get this done, mum will brutally murder me, so I guess I'd better suck it up and just try asking the group again. And, you know, hope I get an answer from someone. And in the meantime, I'll try throwing words at the page and hope they stick, because I already spent most of the day reading slash and looking at 4chan and the resulting plotbunnies are not helping.

(It's like when you're looking something, and you can find everything you've been looking for except for what you're actually looking for. Oh, sure, I've got a muse hitting me right now, it's just for everything except for what I'm actually supposed to be writing.)

And the unusefulness rears its ugly head! Kathleen replies, "gayrights.change.org has everything." Since my question was, "What are some of the topics you covered in your paper?" I feel rather justified in firmly believing that her answer is most definitely not an answer. B| At least mum can admit she's totally not helpful. (And I can't even reply, because Kathleen texted me back on somebody else's phone and I like Liz enough to not want to spam her with texts for Kathleen.)

...maybe the ever-enduring Fragrance of Dark Coffee will help me come up with something that isn't just regurgitating a bunch of news/blog posts.

Current Mood: moody
Current Music: Area 2 and Mars [Giga] :: Rez Game Sound Data

Things I have done today:

- IDs. Granted, only chapter twenty-three, and only the first eight (well, those are the ones due tomorrow...), but I mean, come on! World War I! That's awesome! And I can always catch up over the weekend.
- Learned that there is, in fact, an immortal creature on this earth. That is so cool.
- Bought the newest Vampire Diaries book, The Return: Shadow Souls. I cannot wait to start reading! :DDDD
- Learned that .hack//LINK is out in Japan already. CC2, Bamco, you guys better announce that it hits America soon, or I might just die. Die. from disappointment.
- Both lost and found my Pokéwalker. Yeah, all in one day. I wonder if I can catch a Nidoran♀
- Taken painkillers for cramps without eating. So I didn't have wicked bad cramps, except I had wicked bad stomach cramps. ...yeah. Great idea, self.
- Written an essay about the wonders of homework in ~35 minutes. APE essay-writing skillz, you are awesome.

Today has been a pretty good day and I feel pretty good. Tomorrow I need to get a meeting with Waller about my group's thesis, so I can figure out how to fix it so we don't fail miserably. Essays are ~70% of our English grade now, and this is not just any essay, but the final project (along with, uh, the presentation. The 25 minute presentation with "limited" PowerPoint. Yeah, that should be fun.) Admittedly, our thesis is pretty short, but that's what happens when you don't know how to write a thesis for a stupidly long (15-20 page) paper and when you have to tailor everything about your paper to fit your research, instead of the other way around. I know the thesis needs to be longer, but I don't know how to make it longer. So I have to ask. I feel bad about it, because I feel like I should already know this, but at the same time, I know that it's okay to ask for help if you need help. And I - well, we, really, but since I'm the one who basically wrote the thesis, and, uh, is in possession of the thesis - need help.

Oh, also! In Paradisa, Joshua got himself killed. Now,I love Josh. He's probably my favourite character in TWEWY. But this is arguably the best. plot. ever, because Joshua is an asshole and needs to learn things like limitations and consequences. Also, I think something like half the castle is going to celebrate his death, which is hilarious.