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My Clow cards came in the mail! :D So now I have a set of Clow cards and a set of Sakura cards. I'm thinking I need to at least make a Book of Clow, since those came in just a box. /: The Sakura cards at least have a book-like box, but it's not quite perfect and I am nothing if not a perfectionist (when it comes to things that don't matter). I also plan on making a new and improved seal key! I'm not sure how, though... /: Maybe if I make a clay core, build a wire frame over that, and then put more clay on top of that, it'll be a bit sturdier. And then with paints and some kind of clear coating over it, it should definitely stay together. That would especially help for the star key, or Eriol's key, since they're flat with weird fiddly bits. (Maybe if I just make the heads, and not the key part...?)

Anyway, enough pondering about that! I'm in journalism with nothing to do, I've got a new drawing to work on (foreshortening! foreshortening!!), and I've just eaten two granola bars. I am totally ready (to be bothered with making a work-up of the next issue while I'm trying to make my peace with goddamn foreshortening, which is a far more serious issue).

At least my articles didn't get cut, even if my art did. But that's okay, because it wasn't really for the paper anyway.

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Continuing from an earlier tumblr post:

I’ve figured out that it’s pretty easy for me to write essays (which is what I’m actually supposed to be doing right now, though I’m not). It’s not so easy for me to write things that matter - I’m afraid of messing them up, of not getting the words right. And all my stories matter. So it’s hard for me to write them, even though I really want to.

Realistically, I know that I can always revise whatever I write. If it isn't right, if it doesn't flow properly, if it isn't true to the characters... I can fix that. And yet, I feel like, if I don't get it right the first time, that I'm letting my characters down, or something. They all mean something to me. Even if I'm closer to some of them than to others, they're all, essentially, a part of me - a part that I created, in boredom, in depression, in euphoria, in dreaming. They all deserve to have their stories told properly; I owe it to them, if not to myself.

And yet, when I read their stories and try to continue them, even though I can see exactly what's happening, exactly what's going to happen next, I freeze up. I don't know how to express it properly, how to put what I'm seeing and what I'm feeling into words. I want to capture that moment, and I fear that if I do it inadequately, when I return to my document, the moment will be lost. And in the hesitation caused by fear of losing the moment, I write nothing, and cause it to be lost anyway.

I know what I need to do. I need to push through that fear and just write. If it's not perfect, that's okay; I can make it perfect. But I have to have something to work with before I can do that. So I'll just turn the music up real loud and see what I get. If I put my all into it, I'm sure it'll turn out all right.