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Wednesday, 22 December 2010 11:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eighthphaseReading through my old(est) journal, I can see that I really have matured a lot over the last five years. Usually I think that I'm exactly the same person I've always been (because I'm afraid of change and if I don't like change, why would I change myself?) but looking back on those entries, I'm glad for the change. If I could go back in time to every time I wrote stupid shit and punch myself in the face for it, I... would have punched myself in the face a lot. (Lame ending, I know.)
At the same time, though, younger me had something of a passion that older me doesn't seem to have. Part of that was that I was immature and tended to obsess over things more, but at the same time, it's not like none of my peers do that or anything. Hell, one of my classmates started squealing when the gift her friend gave her turned out to be a Justin Bieber calendar - an Ovan obsession is nothing compared to that, since at least with Ovan I can't count myself as part of a simpering fanbase with a stupid nickname for myself and my fellow followers.
I kind of miss it, but I guess it's kind of the difference between blathering like an idiot at an idol and sitting down for tea and conversation with that same idol. The admiration is still there, but it's mellower - and probably the idol appreciates it more, too.
At the same time, though, younger me had something of a passion that older me doesn't seem to have. Part of that was that I was immature and tended to obsess over things more, but at the same time, it's not like none of my peers do that or anything. Hell, one of my classmates started squealing when the gift her friend gave her turned out to be a Justin Bieber calendar - an Ovan obsession is nothing compared to that, since at least with Ovan I can't count myself as part of a simpering fanbase with a stupid nickname for myself and my fellow followers.
I kind of miss it, but I guess it's kind of the difference between blathering like an idiot at an idol and sitting down for tea and conversation with that same idol. The admiration is still there, but it's mellower - and probably the idol appreciates it more, too.